Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
