I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Welp...herpes.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
