Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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