I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
