turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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