I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
