Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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