she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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