a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
and i looked up. we had an audience...
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.