What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.