Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.