Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight

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  (847): Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight http://tfl.nu/3mek
  Replies (17) Good night (2986) Bad night (495) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both

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  (248): i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both http://tfl.nu/4hk0
  Replies (9) Good night (2888) Bad night (768) Order T-Shirt
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  (713): View more from Texas

  PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering

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  (713): PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering http://tfl.nu/lhmy
  Replies (39) Good night (608) Bad night (3337) Order T-Shirt
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  (416): View more from Ontario

  I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.

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  (416): I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch. http://tfl.nu/l1wa
  Replies (9) Good night (3568) Bad night (497) Order T-Shirt
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  (239): View more from Florida

  Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...

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  (239): Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot... http://tfl.nu/oqxd
  Replies (17) Good night (8106) Bad night (1151) Order T-Shirt
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is

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  (614): Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is http://tfl.nu/l5nn
  Replies (20) Good night (6848) Bad night (1567) Order T-Shirt
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.

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  (774): After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs. http://tfl.nu/szq4
  Replies (16) Good night (594) Bad night (2860) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  AMAZING.

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  (917): hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye (908): AMAZING. http://tfl.nu/tp4d
  Replies (5) Good night (2049) Bad night (731)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Guess what happened to me today at work?

  (1-734): View more from Michigan

  I have chlamydia. What happened.

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.

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  (734): Guess what happened to me today at work? (1-734): I have chlamydia. What happened. (734): Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second. http://tfl.nu/rf53
  Replies (11) Good night (2485) Bad night (1114)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.

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  (970): I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk. http://tfl.nu/5c91
  Replies (11) Good night (1088) Bad night (374) Order T-Shirt
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups

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  (720): Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups http://tfl.nu/s3s5
  Replies (5) Good night (2189) Bad night (337) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.

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  (630): She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up. http://tfl.nu/iahr
  Replies (2) Good night (895) Bad night (283) Order T-Shirt
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.

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  (908): You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out. http://tfl.nu/tk4x
  Replies (4) Good night (952) Bad night (124) Order T-Shirt
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.

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  (506): Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression. http://tfl.nu/0vde
  Replies (4) Good night (717) Bad night (255) Order T-Shirt
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub

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  (905): I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub http://tfl.nu/k11n
  Replies (4) Good night (254) Bad night (554) Order T-Shirt

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