so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
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Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
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just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.