Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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