Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
