i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
