Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
