I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
