Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
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After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
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I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize