Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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