we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize