I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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