That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
