you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Randomize
