I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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