Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
