if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
