I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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