Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize