He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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