Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
and she was petting her beer can
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize