The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
