it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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