Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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