How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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