just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
