you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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