I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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