I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
