Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
