am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Randomize
