I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
