I'm so fucking centered right now
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
