there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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