so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
