Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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