well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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