my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize
