my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
