What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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