im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
