No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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