There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
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Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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