The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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