can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?