I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?