Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS