there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
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Fuck now we have to have sex
In a bet, need to win
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
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I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.