no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
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