No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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