Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
