i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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