He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
