just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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