The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize